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Dating Deal Breakers (The Female Version)

Author: LaV | 7-09-2011, 16:18
Views: 572

Dating Deal Breakers (The Female Version)

 

You read what Piph had to say regarding dating deal breakers for the men, now see what Arasia Magnetic has to say as she represents for the ladies.

 

I absolutely love black men. They are naturally intoxicating and carry the universe on their shoulders with honor. Their skin flavors are succulent, their intelligence is unequaled, and their power is infinite. They seduce, command, and explore the female form like no other. And when Essence made their top reasons why they love black men list, I agreed whole-heartedly.

But like most women, I draw the line somewhere—otherwise I will date every black man I can get my hands on. And with all this talk about black women not being able to find a good black man, some expect a sista to just accept anything and be content with that. I refuse. I’m not a neurotic basket case that has an astronomical list of dos and don’ts but I do have a starting point of deal breakers that will eliminate those that earn a spot on my “do not go there” list.

Ready. Set. Go.

 

Historical

1. Thinks the white man is responsible for all black people’s problems, especially the black man and refuses to acknowledge the black woman’s struggle

2. Is convinced that Kweisi Mfume is a brand of cologne (TRUE STORY)

3. Supports Proposition 8

4. Can’t recite the four elements of Hip Hop on demand (SMDH…TRUE STORY AGAIN)

5. Is reckless with money because he is waiting on a reparations check

Honorable Mention:

Doesn’t know what HBCU stands for

 

Entertainment

1. Shares every aspect of his life on Facebook/Twitter and runs into things, can’t focus, and almost crashes his vehicle as a result of this addiction that he doesn’t acknowledge (NOT THAT SERIOUS KID)

2. Calls women that rap—-femcees

3. Thinks Dr. and Mrs. Huxtable are unrealistic characters

4. Thought the Spook Who Sat By The Door was a horror film

5. Stands firm on the idea that U-God is the best emcee in the Wu (LEFT A DUDE AT A PARTY FOR THIS ONE)

Honorable Mention:

Is a Stan of any of the following: Tupac, Eminem, Jay-Z, or Premier and is stuck in the first or second golden era of Hip Hop

 

He has one or more…

1. Instance that would lead me to believe he is related to Pigpen of Charlie Brown fame  (WASH YOUR ASS PLAYA)

2. Sayings in his vocabulary: what it do, no homo, pause, boss, LOLZ, addy, anything ending in izzle, word, or dat. Or refers to me as girl, boo, bay, or mommy

3. Moments where his mother cleans his house, does his laundry, makes excuses for him while he shifts blame on everyone but himself, or asked about his old girlfriend in front of me

4. Appearances on Maury Povich as “the father”

5. Shirts that look like they have three buttons that snap under his balls, skinny jeans, or underwear with skid marks  (C’MON SON!)

Honorable Mention:

Acts like a tight wad—sarcasm and asshole tendencies go a long way with me

 

He had me at hello and then…

1.I observed the love affair he has with his voice along with a terrible grasp of the English language

2. Lied about the imprint around his ring finger (AINT NO TIME FOR FAKIN’ JAX SON!!!)

3. Proceeded to remove all logical reasoning resulting in making all his decisions out of emotion

4. Displayed moist like behavior on more than one occasion

5. I discovered his penis resembled a library pencil (TRUE STORY)

Honorable Mention:

Screamed like a little girl at the sight of my 8-year old Beagle Whitney who is afraid of plastic bags

 

Religion

1. Is a Bible thumper and can’t have a conversation without some mention of God, Jesus, Muhammed, Buddha, etc.

2. Manipulates scripture to work in his favor and constantly uses the Ten Commandments for his guilt trips (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)

3. Says all gay, lesbian, and transgendered people are going to hell

4. Claims to be a Muslim but shoves Sausage McMuffins down his throat every morning  (GTFOH)

5. Refuses to have any tolerance for other religious and spiritual beliefs but wants everyone to respect his

Honorable Mention:

Thinks Judaism is a form of martial arts (#EPICFAIL)

Until we meet again………..what are some of your dating deal breakers? Let us know!

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